Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Monday Gripes

I haven’t done an edition of Monday Gripes for a while, so I decided it was about time.

First gripe: it’s not even  Monday! I got so busy yesterday, I forgot. So technically, this is Tuesday Gripes.

One new gripe has to do with my English budgie, Jack. (Short for Captain Jack Sparrow, naturally!) It seems he’s made friends with a catbird he sees out the kitchen window. He has apparently taught the catbird some of the whistles Jack learned from hubby Dan, so they whistle and chirp back and forth to each other.

The problem with this: they do it at the crack of dawn (or “crackadon,” as my oldest daughter used to say), and they do it LOUDLY. It’s like having a bird alarm. Oy. Yelling “Shut up, Jack!” doesn’t work; nor does putting the pillow over my head (can’t breathe). So eventually, muttering dire threats about extinction of a species, I get out of bed and start my day. Naturally, Jack is delighted to see me up and moving, so he doesn’t understand my mood.

I’m thinking a good revenge is to wake Jack up when HE’s asleep. Only problem is, once you wake him up, he’s delighted to talk to you. Apparently, he needs less sleep than I do!

Also, I’ll share with you a classic gripe. This drives me nuts, so even though I’ve previously mentioned this, I will repeat.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who, when driving, do not know how to merge. It sounds like a simple thing, right? Get your car from the on-ramp onto the main highway safely.  Let’s examine how most folks do it:

Drive slowly up the on-ramp. Look to see if there are any cars coming—not that it will make any difference to your merging method. Lumber into the main highway lane, going 20 miles below the speed limit and forcing the car next to you to hit the brakes sharply to avoid hitting you. Ignore the horns blowing and rude gestures sent your way.

Now, pay attention, please. This is the CORRECT way to merge:

Check out who is coming on the main highway lane. Find a space you can fit into without hitting anyone. Accelerate smoothly on the on-ramp to match your speed to the main lane traffic. Carefully steer your car into that open space, without forcing the car behind the space to swerve or brake.

Yes, YOU must find a space to fit into and do it without disrupting the pattern of traffic. That’s the definition of MERGE.

There! Got that off my chest (again). What are your pet peeves, on the highway or in life?


Kim Cox said...

Love it. Makes me happy I don't have a talking bird. The merging into traffic pet peeve I share with you. I also merge into the lane as soon as there is an opening, not waiting for the end of the lane. Most people that I have observed ride out the lane to the end and just move over no matter what's coming up.

Elizabeth Delisi said...

Exactly. I'm surprised there aren't more accidents from lousy merging!